So I've discovered something that can be vastly entertaining: writing horrid, horrid emo poetry on purpose. I've been a volunteer reader for 2 literary magazines, and every now and then we'd get a submission that was so ridiculous that it was almost a little bit amazing. But I was distracted somewhat from the amazingness because I was busy trying to figure out if they were serious. (Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of good submissions, and a lot of the particularly good ones were dark and/or deep, many full of emotion, just occasionally we'd get a really horrid one that would leave me scratching my head and saying "...really?")

So recently it occurred to me that it could, perhaps, be quite fun to write short parodies of the horrid, horrid poetry. It's entirely possible that these are only funny to me, but here are a couple anyway:

My heart is black
Like a black light
Except those are purple
So it's like
A black light that's not plugged in
And doesn't have any batteries
'Cause then it's so dark purple
That it kinda looks black
Like my heart.

And also....

You never knew it
But you had my heart
Until you crushed it
And squished it
And stomped on it a few times
For good measure.
It was really unnecessary
And kind of gross.
Now where my heart was
There is only a hole
A black hole
Like the ones in space
The vacuum of space
Like the vacuum
Of my chest cavity
At the moment.
My heart would break again
But now it's all squishy
And bits of it
Are still stuck to your shoe.
I told you it was gross.